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bellaboniqua

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[15 Aug 2005|02:58pm]
Yes Yes Yes.... My fellow beautiful ones and Lambz... tis that time I say goodbye to Livejournal... and Hello to a more Updated Diary... that I can show a little more of my personality with. Hope you guys check out my new page.. and maybe it will inspire a few of you to convert to MySpace LOL. In either case.. I will still be dedicated in reading all of Your LJ Entries *smiley* would have put one in there but everytime i do.. the shit erases. Fuck Shit Computer LOL.
Sooo Yes... Here is the Link. I Am still Currently updating and working on it. But ya'll should checkk it outtt its.. pretty hott I must say.

Love you and Adore you MUCH XOXO
B. Boniqua
http://www.myspace.com/8993365
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~*wonderful*~ [12 Aug 2005|12:20pm]
[ mood | tAngerine & romaNtic ]


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Twas a Happy Anniversary *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Andrew and I just celebrated our 3 year anniversary!!!
We  just got back from Fort Lauderdale where Andrew surprised me with a cruise to an island for an all inclusive dinner. YUMM Shrimp, Chicken, Ribs, and sweet ass servers who didn't card us. So of course we had to indulge into Pina Coladas, Rum Punch..mmm ha ha. There was also a really cool show afterwards very entertaining .
The hotel was beAutiful with our belcony oceaN front even a damn mini bar in the room.. where we later on shared coke and rums till 4am.
We had such a good time!



 



I love my cherry cake man and i treasure our one of a kind romance.




Also I want to thank all of my bestest friends back in jtown who made my visit so tangerine. Love you guys!! and see ya in November.

8 comments|post comment

A Visit 2 Home [05 Aug 2005|02:34pm]
~* I am currently in Michigan in my good ol home town visiting for a week... Greeted with signs and balloons...my favorite "better than anything cake" all baked special for me.. and upstairs to my old bedroom was a beautiful full vase of flowers of all different kinds with a cute little note "Welcome home Bella*~ Wow.... it was the best feeling ever to come home to so much love. And of course I have been spending time with my lambz...its been truly lovely having my dearest ones in my presence spending time with me. Ya just don't make these kind of friends everyday... especially when you move away... you realize your oldest friends.. are your best of friends.

Yesterday my mother, my sister, my brother, and I went to lansing for the whole day and went shopping. It was very unique to actually have all of us together for once. I got alot of cute things.. it was nice to be able to pick out things and not have to stress about money...credit cards... it was very rewarding and relaxing. But most of all it was just purely tangerine being with my family.
So far I have hit up a few of my fave spots to eat... like The Grainery, Hoolahans, Bennigans, Cancun Mexican Grill, haha Now just a few more to go!! We don't have any of these restarants near us in Florida.. soo I am vacationing right now doing things here thaT I can't there.

I got highlights added in my hair today I loveee them... I think the black hair just looked to rough. I needed more dimension. Hair colour and makeup is truly ART. being able to work with contrasts.. I consider both one of my passions.

I miss my baby!!! Our 3 year anniversary is on the 10th!! the day I get back to Florida!! I've got some special little surprises for him!! Even tho I miss him.. its nice to have our time away from eachother... you end up appreciating things a little more. If it was up to the both of us I think we would choose to not spend so much time together because its alot more special looking forward to seeing someone. instead of being up there ass 24/7. haha but we do enjoy living together also. its kind of a half and half situation. :)

~**~~**~~ ON ANOTHA SUBJECT REAL QUICK~*~~*~*~~*

People who waste there time commenting "advice" which actually sounds like some uneducated mindless bullshit lol... should really take the time to look at themselves before they speak on me.. someone they obviously don't know to well. If you have to comment anonymously.. that just shows that the only insecurities going on.. is in yourself. quit hiding behind a screen.. and if ya got some good sensible shit to say.. then fine... but when u sound like some sheltered ass who has never lived close to the life that I live... and not even being able to post your name.. or relate to me in any way. Please quit wasting my time.. and my livejournal space.. Seriously.. like.. read some books or something.. because everything I read sounded like some bored jealous uneducated female.
And about the low income for materialists... lol how the hell do you think people afford it if they have low incomes? oooh lord... Please... do something for me....
Go take a walk outside in the real world. and quit trying to Judge other people.
ya know.. because Jealousy does happen to B a DEADLY sin.



love my lambs... God ... MUSIC....My baby.....and every breathing, living thing...

Dont take advantage of time... because soon it becomes non existant....

Beauty comes from within.. the outside only reflects how much you DO love yourself by Taking good care of your body.. hygene.. and doing things for yourself.. which i will continue to do till i die.
NEVER let someone tell you to stop putting time into yourself. Because you put time into things and people u care about.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER BITCHEZZZ LOL

<3 Bella Boniqua
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[24 Jul 2005|11:35pm]
[ mood | amused ]

i have recently discovered....


that FOOD is the Devil.


And Speaking of "the devil"

The devils rejects (rob zombie film)
is absolutely thrilling/fuckin amazing.

I truly loved it to pieces.


Deep thoughts have been taking over mee the past few weeks.

Living in West Palms can be extremely materialistic.
and I just don't want to live like that.
Materialism seriously runs in my family... and to tell you the truth
having all the clothes you want..... things of that nature...
Just isn't Internally fulfilling.

I just don't want to care about other peoples business... and whats supposed to be IN style. and OUt. I just rather say... Fuck it.
And I will like what I like.. whether its the colour of the season.. or 3 years ago.

Does it really matter?


Don't get me wrong.. I like Glamourous lifestyle.
but when it gets to the shallow... annoying gossipy shit.
I just don't feel like a good person in the end... wasting my time
reading dumb ass magazines or watching the E channel.
I would rather gain wisdom about worthy things I need to learn in my life time being.

Does that make sense?


I've just found myself changing so much lately.
And just like sooo many different things...

I just have been trying to gather my beliefs...
and FOLLOW them. By being honest with myself.

While still being young... and magical.

Right now is more of a serious time of my life...
where i am figuring out where i want to go from here.
and actually taking hold of my responsibilities haha whoa.. thats a long word
Bills.... yeah.... i am no longer letting them stress me out..
i've been paying them all on time... so im straight.

I have more to speak on but tis ma boiz bday
and i must partake in the fun activities in my kitchen

Nitey nite........

P.s... I love how random stranger guys annouce in their info how they love BEATING off to my pictures... hahaha humorous.

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[30 Jun 2005|02:59pm]
hehe i stole this from miss jazmine. i know its long but cmon what else ya got to do :) be honest !!!



[1] am I hott?
[2] am I sweet?
[3] am I nice?
[4] am I crazy?
[5] am I lovable?
[6] am I funny?
[7] am I psycho?
[8] am I selfish?
[9] am I daring?
[10] am I a good person?


"Would You...."
[1] hug me?
[2] kiss me?
[3] hold my hand?
[4] miss me if I was gone?
[5] listen to my problems?
[6] be there for me when i need you the most?
[7] hug me if I cried?
[8] be a good friend?
[9] buy me a hundred roses?
[10] lie to me just to make me happy or tell me the truth that can make me sad?


"If You Could...."
[1] give me a new name it would be?
[2] hook me up with someone (real) who would it be?
[3] do one thing with me it would be?
[4] drop me one piece of advice it would be?
[5] give me something that's very special from your heart it would it be?
"Just A Few Questions"
[1] What do u love about me?
[2] What is my best quality?
[3] If u could change one thing about me it would be?
[4] What is your honest opinion about me?
[5] If i die will you remember me forever?
[6] Would you forgive me if I break your heart or do something that's really bad to you that will cause you pain?

-Am I...
1. intimidating?
2. weird?
3. sexually attractive?
4. hard to understand?
5. hard to trust?
6. self centered?
7. uneducated?
8. a good person?

-Would You...
1. Hug Me?
2. Miss me if I was gone?
3. Listen to my problems?
4. Hug me if I cried?
5. Be a good friend?
6. Get in a fight for me?
7. Run evil social espionage missions for me?

-Stuff
1. Would you Ever go out with me?
2. If you already have, would you do it again?
3. Kiss me?
4. Marry me if you could?
5. Ever talk bad about me if we ever broke up?
6. Make out with me in a cemetery?
7. Snuggle with me?

-About Me
1. How Well Do You Know Me?
2. When's my birthday?
3. Who is my best friend?
4. Who am I crushing on/dating?
5. Favorite color?
6. Favorite Animal?
7. Favorite song/songs?
8. Favorite music groups?
9. What song would you dedicate to me?
10. What would I use to dispatch a horde of hungry zombies?

-If You Could
1. Give me a new name, what would it be?
2. Do one thing with me, what would it be?
3. Drop me a piece of advice, what would it be?
4. Kidnap me for a day, where would we go?

-Just A Few Questions
1. What do you love about me?
2. What do you hate about me (seriously)?
3. What is my best quality?
4. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
5. What is your honest opinion about me?
6. What would you do if I sang out of tune?

-Misc...
1. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
2. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
4. Have you ever had a dream about me?
5. Do you think I'm a virgin?
6. If you just met me how old would you guess I am?
7. Am I huggable?
8. If you could give me anything... what would it be?
9. If you could promise me anything.. what would it be?

-Personal
1. Am I ugly, average, decent, good looking, beautiful, hot, etc?
2. Do you ever think about me offline?
3. If you could describe me in one word... what would that word be?
4. Do you/have you ever had a crush on me?
5. When we first met, what were your thoughts? (if you've met/talked to me?)
6. If you had to describe to someone who I am and what I am like, what would you tell them?
7. What are my faults?
8. My strengths?



Alright thank u for who ever took the time to fill that outttt
i will fill one out for u too if u put it in your livejournal or whatever

have a magical day as will i

~ b boniqua ~
3 comments|post comment

[27 Jun 2005|02:50pm]
I bleed inside
creating painful pictures thaT make my stomach churn

sometimes i dont know what to do
i drive my own self crazy

Trust.
the most important element to any kind of relationship

I dont know how to trust

and sometimes I don't even want to.

for instance. right now.
4 comments|post comment

[19 Jun 2005|08:05pm]
Congrats to my lady Mariah for being the worlds most successful female artist of all time!!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
2 comments|post comment

[18 Jun 2005|01:26pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Sometimes I feel like packing my bags with my most important things
... and just leaving...

In my life... I have built so many expectations... and when I feel
LIke they are so hard to live up to.
I feel like just running away from it all.
Moving to Europe. . .

And just keep my thoughts in my music, my poetry, and in MY mind.

There has just been so many overwhelming thoughts.&.decisions lately
that I feel like I am drowning.

I am not crazed or in a lonely state of depression.

I'm just extremely confused....

2 comments|post comment

Soo Many Thoughts [15 Jun 2005|08:48pm]
[ mood | Magical ]

"Pink Balerina"

I wish you could see
the you I see
Instead, you dread
Of what you are becoming to be
Pink fading into black
As you've immersed into darkness
and Everday I wonder...
What happened to you?

*~__Bella Boniqua__~*



************************************************

Congrats to Michael Jackson!! INNOCENT ON ALL COUNTS!! Knew it all along :)

************************************************

Chronicles of Narnia....The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe....
Disney in Theatres Dec. 9th.

And need I say Willy Wonka with Johnny Depp July 15th?

HOW MaGicAl*~! I am Thrilled to see them!


... Andrew and I hate pet stores....
Especially when they wanna charge $1,200 for a pug when I got one for $350
not to mention its in a cage small enough to barely breathe in.
All the dogs are kept in seperate small ass glass cage things....
Its bullshit.
We love animals and are kick ass owners... and they have to charge
that much for a dog that needs a home.
Fuck them. I'm bout to go up in there and steal all their dogs and burn the spot down.. RAH ha HA ... maybe if there was no laws for stealing and arson.
...sigh...

I am also pissed that they dont start cloning endangered animals
and even extinct ones.. Damn People. I need to study this
so I can just have my own cloning center in my piece.
Pretty soon I'll have Pandas and miniture Elephants roming around Like
the mini Circus I dream and wish for someday.


Well I am done rambling my crazy thoughts.

Oh yeah... Did I mention I got carded for an R rated movie the other night
at the Ritzy Movie theatre with Valet Parking?
Forgot my damn I.d.
and called the guy a quote "fuckin faggot" ... because he wouldn't let me in the movie. The man was shocked that these words came flyin outta my crazy self.
Then andrew, (my love and sidekick) gave him the ol' jack off gesture.
Don't ya love it?



Have a Lovely Day...

And remember Kids... No throwing naughty kitties in the oven!

2 comments|post comment

What do you value? [11 Jun 2005|02:49pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

~* First I need to get off topic... and say.. I am so upset right now that Lindsay Lohan got best female performance over Rachel McAdam who played in The Notebook. UGHH. That movie.. seriously made me feel so many different emotions. And she just played the part so perfect. I love her. But ya know... Who says Mtv has the right opinion to who is the better actress. She has my vote :) ... She was wonderful in that film... and its a movie I want to pass down in the future. Absolutely amazing. ~*

Well back to the subject title...
I was thinking about what I truly valued in my life.
And being that I am so far away from home.. and what I've always known.
I can say.. that I never realized how much I value my family... with all my heart.. and everything I am.
They will always love me for ALL that I am. and ALWAYS believe in me.
As Alicia Keys would say " the only solid rock in my life is my family" ... and yes people we may be a disfuctional family lol. but being away has taught me the true meaning of family. It makes me so sad that I am an aunt of 2 beautiful nieces... and I cant be there to watch them grow. and I miss my Mom ungodly sooo much. And I miss visiting my grandma... and having sleepovers at my sisters... and yes... even though my brother and I have had quite a violent and crazy past... I do miss seeing his face.. and wondering.. when we are going to have a friendship.
These feelings have always been inside.. but not able to be shown thru until being away from them for so long.

~* Friendship *~

I have alot of people who I love and will always be there for.
We all mess up and make mistakes. And I_ think having friends teaches you different lessons. Its so important to have a couple close friends. I never got into that whole scene of popularity...cliques... it never meant shit to me. if you're cool... than tight.. but if not.. I'm not going to waste my time with shallow cookie cutters. Life would feel so isolated... and lonely without knowing the meaning of friendship.. and having those that you share that with. I love the feeling of laying down and sharing your dreams... fears... everything with someone.. and having them understand.. and not look at you differently. Its such a warm feeling.
friendship is priceless. and we all know that their are things that we can talk to our friends about... that is difficult to talk to parents about.
One thing I have always promised myself.. is to be the best of friend I can possibly be. and to this day... I feel like I really am a good friend. it makes me feel good to know people can honestly depend on me. I cherish friendship to the fullest. and always will.

~* Stars...*~

I swear... sometimes when I look up at the stars... I feel like an overwhelming feeling of God. Its so crazy to sit back and look at things around you and be like... damn... where did all of this come from.

YES.. I MAY NOT HAVE A RELIGION I HOLD ONTO... BUT I HAVE GOD... IN THE END.. THATS ALL THAT MATTERS.
and there it is.. the quote of my life.
I don't really believe in organized religion.
I like the feeling of freedom... and knowing I have God in MY life.
Through my music... my voice... my words... and my own form of prayer... _I have a strong sense of God in my life. And I couldn't be happier any other way.

I appreciate and love so much around me.. and since I have learned to live that way. life has been so much better.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

i am off now as i have other things awaiting me right now.
have a wonderful day.
don't forget to appreciate every single breath of air you breathe..
and to give thanks to whomever you beleive gave us this earth to live...dream.. and just be upon.

Much love as always...
Bella B.

4 comments|post comment

purple mermaid [02 Jun 2005|07:21pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

~**** I've always wanted dark hair with a tint of plum.
chocolate covered plum.. I find it as an eccentric colour. Which is enjoyable to thine eyes. Vodka and Strawberry juice...Mmmm Quite appealing to my thirsty little taste buds.

_Aqua waters... curves with a mermaid tail. Glowing stars... My night light through the dark currents. so many colours.. i've been told thee eyes can't see. my voice echoing thru the tunnels attracting ears and creatures of many sort. however... every ear has a certain taste.. for which it can be also called an opinion. dont let the water trample down and drown you just because another doesn't "hear" you. Because... someone else out in that world will.

Imagery is only as deep as your eyes can see. But what about what is inside. And what you can feel? ...

Ya feel me on that?

Just because something or someone may be physically eye catching...
what about what they have inside to offer?
I just KNOW that everyone truly is thine ownself.
EVEN cookiecutters...
you just gotta come out.
Be confident .. and BELIEVE in who you R and what U stand for.

then we can all say goodnite... look up and see the same moon. and grasp onto our hopes...dreams...aspirations....
you just can't give up.
and you have to let go of every insecurity..fear.. and whatever else that may be holding you back.

That my lambz.... is called faith.

No matter what religious beliefs you have.
Or what colours your eyes can see
There still stands faith.
as strong as the oceans current.
as vibrant as any rainbow in the sky.

Faith.

And that is what i will hold onto..forever.

2 comments|post comment

~* Prince Quiz *~ hehe purple love [02 Jun 2005|02:11am]
You scored as Carmen Electra. You are Carmen Electra.
Although your life started out a little rocky, you've managed to take control of yourself.
You are the epitome of a perfect specimen.

</td>

Carmen Electra

90%

Sheila E.

90%

Vanity

90%

Wendy & Lisa

90%

Cat

80%

Mayte Garcia

80%

Morris Day

70%

Ingrid Chavez

50%

Apollonia

50%

Jill Jones

40%

Susannah

30%

Which Prince Protogé Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
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FL baby* [22 May 2005|04:54pm]
[ mood | to da loo la ]

*~ How are my beautiful onez?...

Work at Victoria's Secret has been sexy fun. Ha..I've met alot of cool ass girlz. Its nice because it is soooo diversed nationality-wise.
Like... everyone is a different nationality. Tula, Isabelle, Jennifer, Naomi and Vanessa are a few of the girlz I have clicked with. Puerto rican, mexican, island mami's haha lovin it. It's alot of fun.
Even though Jennifer has asked me to go to the clubs with her I have been saying no..due to setting my priorities straight for my music.
I've been practicing alot. And well damn.... its coming along rather smoothly.

**************** 6 DAYS *********************

Krystal is coming down to support me for my big day..OOOHH we're gonna lay in the sun..Beach... We're going to take her to "City Place" .. where alot of the stars go. Gucci, Versace stores... BIG TIME BABy ;) She was there for me from day one... the first time I have ever gotten on stage in 10th grade singing "Caged Bird" She was the one who helped me get ready... and sat in the school bathroom with me practicing that day LOL.Now... I am smiling and so happy I have such an awesome friend.! And it is truly amazing to me..how much better I have gotten since my first time on stage.
Thanks to all my friends and family...and MONTE LONG who have helped bring out my real voice..and just believe in me :) I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!


I LOVE THIS OLD SCHOOL MISSY VERSE

" She's a bitch
When you say my name
Talk mo' junk but won't look my way
She's a bitch
See I got more cheese
So back on up while I roll up my sleeves "

HAHA... makes me feel like I'm on top'a the world when I listen to that jam.
Missy Elliot is a damn talented artist,

Speaking of music....
I've been listening to sooo many different kinds.
Becks new album is pretty tight.
I've also been jammin to some old school smashing pumpkins
Its a fun time down in Florida. :) I am very much so enjoying it.

NOT to mention.. that no one down here gives a fuck if you drink
for instance... last night we went to Ruby Tuesdays..and we got margaritas and mudslides mmmmmmm... and down the street they don't card for alcohol.
IT ROCKS !!! People in MIchigan dont do that shit. Too uptight.

and guess what....
all 3 of my favorite artists have done fuckin amazing 2004-2005

Prince #1 tour of 2004.

Mariah Carey's new album has been #1 on the billboards.
Mariah also being named #1 selling female recording artist of ALL time!
DUH

Alicia keys has done marvelous too with her wonderful tour and kick ass performance on Save the Music.

That kind of shit makes not only my day...but my life.
MUSIC IS THE BEST INVENTION TO ALL MAN KIND...IT IS MY ESCAPE..SAVING GRACE..AND MY DREAM.

Well my fancy lambz... I must go drink some tea..take a bath..practice some la LA la LA....... and enjoy my fuzzy little pets!!

buh bye xoxo B. Boniqua K. Bizarre the off colour poet. WHAT?

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Time: right now... I believe in it. [18 May 2005|10:59pm]
10...TEN... DAYS...

I'm not going to fall down.

I'm going to pray to God.... & Wish on Stars ~*

FOCUS

NO I'm not just Elicia Gorski from Michigan.

I'm a multi dimensional artist who takes risks.
...In my heart is music. In my soul lies a legend whom is yet 2 be set free.
I beleive.
I didn't before.
I never had the confidence.
But I don't have TIME to sit and not feel GOOD enough...
and question everything that God has already given me.
I may not be the best. The prettiest. And that is ok.
But what I do have. Is something I can always better.
I have become grateful for what I DO have.
Instead of complaining and wanting more and more,
PURSUING what you want is going to take you further.
You can't expect that shit to fall into your lap.
Or to become some phenomienon over night.

I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm just going to be ME...
and others can leave it or take it.
I am sick of feeling like all girls want to do is COMPETE.
I don't give a shit about how you dress, what car you drive, or how big your house is. Quit trying to compete.
Who really cares?
LIke seriously. That shit is so old and I hate it when people bring in money status.
I'm just tryin to live shit up to the fullest.
One Life. ( yes i believe in reincarnation) but there is only ONE of ME>
I gotta make myself known for something beautiful in this world.
I am not happy with a normal life.

Anyways...
Enough said.

TEN DAYS..........10...................
count em down baby
2 comments|post comment

decision [17 May 2005|01:03am]
I made a decision today for my music career.
Due to this decision... I may not be online as much
or as frequent with my journal entries.
If I havn't told you what I am taking a part in...
then I may have chose not to tell you.
I don't want to make this public.
Just in case of the outcome.
Wish me luck
Don't worry... I will keep you guys updated :)
Also... if you wish to know you may ask :)
I just might have not talked to you!

love ya adore ya much
xoxo
Bella B.
1 comment|post comment

P.S [14 May 2005|01:35am]
Just out of randomosity (yes its my own word which i created)

How many of you.. Go to the Refridgerator (sp wrong..maybe?) and just open it when you arn't hungry... maybe searching for answers.?
lol.
I catch myself doing this often.
Just opening the door... looking in.... theN closing it.
Why?? that is the question?

PLEASE INFORM ME IF YOU HAVE AN ANSWER :)
5 comments|post comment

mis interpretations... or just being plain ignorant [14 May 2005|01:25am]
[ mood | :) ]

Wow....

I have truly learned a lesson in judging people.
and just being straight out ignorant.
I was so mean...and evil to someone I never even knew...
Just to piss someone off at the time.

Even though It was really horrible.
It was something I needed to experience.
Because I am different now.

This person that I treated so badly...turned out to be someone who I shared alot of awesome things in common with.
And not to mention... just a beautiful person who is trying to live everyday just like everyone else.

I am so glad that I am no longer that person.
Because... I am going to look at every single soul I meet with an open mind. And that is the way it should be.
:)


Just something that i needed to share :)

love and adore ya allll soooo very much

haha Bella BOniquaaaaa

2 comments|post comment

woooooohooooooooooooo [13 May 2005|02:26pm]
[ mood | Sexy Mutha Fucka ]

*********************** LORDY LORD ******************************

Wow... I've been working out lately.. and it is kicking MY ASS hard core. LOL ... Talk about a wake up call to know you are out of shape.
WoooHoooo...
I thought about other activities I can do to keep in shape.
And I remembered how much I really enjoyed soccer.
I know. I know.
Me playing soccer. Ha. Ha.
But damnit haha... I really liked it!
So Andrew and I decided we are gonna find a park or soccer field...
and go play soccer!!
Also... another activity I've always enjoyed (but not always been good at it haha) is SWIMMING!!! being that there is a gorgeous swimming pool in my backyard underneath the palm trees :) dont hate me
I need to take advantage of that more often...Instead of just dipping in to cool off from the sun :)

I've also cut pretty much all my bad eating habits.
YES PEOPLE...
.....I am ON A DIET.
But not like a..starve yourself diet...
more like... cutting everything bad out my diet.
Or just having things in moderation.
I'm pretty much just trying to eat salads, special k, grilled chicken, Veggies, Fruit (only in the a.m...)..no candy..no pop ( no pop isnt hard for me... i never liked it much anyways) ... but hardest.. is no chocolate milk :(

My goal is to lose 15-20lbs.
AkA.. body like carmen electra! haha i love her..shes hott and not to mention.. dated and was discovered by...PRINCE!!!! hehe


But yes... I have to get ready for a big night
at work at Victoria's Secret...
HaHa.. First day of work was so fun. lol.
Didn't think I could get paid for trying on bras all day.
Its a sexy sexy job! lots of AWESOME discounts! not to mention...free bras... and semi annual sale is comin up! hehe :)

So yes.. Hope everyone is doing splendid.
and thank you for those of you who took the time to comment on my Michael Jackson post. It meant alot to me.!!

love ya adore ya
xoxo Bella Boniqua..the off colour poet :) been a while

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[11 May 2005|09:46pm]

First I would like to ask people 2 respect my opinion and thoughts and to respond postively if you are going to respond at all :) thank you



Obviously if any of you who are reading this have been a close friend of mine, you would know that I am in 100% support of Michael Jackson. Understanding and taking the time to learn about his traumatizing childhood and his heart for pure innocence and peace....



Growing up in a Jehovah Witness family, isolated from having any friends at all, a verbally and physically abusive father...and NEVER having any knowlege of what a childhood felt like... I beleive is understandable of all the mental issues he has as an older man now.



In his place called Neverland...a place where he could escape the curupt world... Michael would stay and feel like the kid... he never got a chance to be. Feeling like a child... or better yet... a Peter Pan. Someone who never wants to grow up. WELL... seeing as though Michael never got a childhood at all... He now has the money to do whatever he wants. So what does he do? ... He gained alot of mental problems from his past and started to re-live being a child. Looking at children as innocent as a lamb. Michael felt safe with anything innocent. So he has always surrounded himself with child-like things... such as a zoo in his own backyard, several trips a year to Disney, and even having his own theme park.  And now you are probably thinking... Ok... how can you explain his weird nose job and blah blah blah.



My personal opinion on that... is... If someone tortured me my whole life since age one ... my own father calling me ugly and saying how huge and disgusting my nose was.... I would probably feel horrible everyday until I my problem was resolved. Getting multiple nose jobs and still feeling ugly inside and out... never feeling good enough... Michael started to get a couple other surgeries done.... and once one surgery goes bad... pretty much they just get worse. 



I also think the molestation accusations are horrible. Especially considering the same mother and son have been in court TWICE. First claiming her son got molested by Michael... then She settles to drop the case for $$$. (Now think about that... what parent in their right mind would settle their OWN childs innocence being taken away...by $??)... She calls Michael into court years later ALLOWING her child to go BACK to Neverland and says he got molested by Michael for the second time... WHAT THE HELL??? If it really happened that mother would have NEVER let her child go back over to Michaels.



These people are taking advantage of Michael Jackson... Who is in a very vulnerable, nieve state of mind. I think its horrible what people will do for money. I will never believe that Michael Jackson is a child molester. He loves children because they are the only pure innocence we have left in this world.  He feels comfortable around them because that is where his mind state is. He has alot of problems... and I feel if anything ... he should have therapy.



I just wish that people took the time to try to understand someone. We all have problems and most of them root back from our childhood.. I understand Michael and in some ways I feel I  relate to him... with some of the same emotions I felt as a child.



Anyways... Thank you for whomever read this and kept an open mind.



Love ya Adore ya................ Bella B.



 



 



 




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Foreign [10 May 2005|11:21pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Sometimes I feel so far away from what I have ever known... or even... ever been.
My surroundings of course are so much different.
But I FEEL different too.
In some areas... I still struggle to keep motivated.
Like I seriously just *WISH* .......
that certain music connection would find me... or vice versa.
Because it is the most painful feeling...
Not envisioning myself... where I really want to be.
I don't care WHERE I live.
I just want to do... what I feel my purpose here on earth is.
*Patience*
Thats one thing... that I don't have.
At all.
I Ask God... to help me become more patient...
But I think its just like implanted in me haha.
((sigh)) ......
When I see my favorite stars perform my favorite songs... it gives me both effects....
I get sad because I wish... that I could be where they are.
Singing their every emotion...struggle...everything.
For the world to sit..chill... and relate to.
And then I feel empowered with energy... and ideas....

Its been really hard being so far away from all my friends and family who push me and support me.
I guess I lack the confidence sometimes to just push myself.

I am homesick in some ways...
like...
my family
my friends
sparky
Daryl's seafood pasta hehe
certain places I used to go since I was little.

but the other side is like
THANK THA LORD I AM OUT OF THAT SHIT HOLE TOWN haha....

Being here is not at all like living in East Lansing
where I could just drive my car 30 mins and see everyone at home.
Its like... Ok... When am I going to see these people again.
Seriously.
Yes I can make new friends...
BUT THEY ARE NOT going to replace the ones back home.

I am done for now.... its getting late...
I miss seeing fire flies. they are so beautiful... like little stars lighting up your back yard :)

love you adore you and miss you much
Bella B.

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